Heavy breathing and a tingly feeling.
Why is it that on promotion day in Brazilian JiuJitsu the adrenaline feels more intense than regular days? And believe when I share that, no days are easy.
Promotion days almost simulate competition days. The energy in the room makes me feel like I can run on water.
What’s going on? Is anybody else in here feel the same? Somewhat the same? It can’t possibly be just me.
The way to calm this is with a laugh, a giggle even a smile will take off some of the tingles. Then, you roll, maybe get smashed and realize “Ok” I know this feeling. Heavy breathing.
By the time you know it, it ends.
How did it go? Was it the results you where looking for?
I feel unsettled. Confused . Overwhelmed with emotions I can’t understand. I feel like I “should” feel happy. So why am I not thrilled jumping off walls? Maybe I feel I “should” feel happy because others want me to be happy. But only I know my goal and I’m nowhere near. Maybe I can’t celebrate the small milestone because there’s so much to study, learn and apply. The blade needs to be sharpened/ maintained every single day.
One thing is for sure, I feel entitled to nothing. This new chapter is not an expectation but rather a responsibility. This color opens doors I only heard of.
Finally I’ll be able to train with the coach/professor of my dreams! On a deeper level. More than once a month.
Overall I feel a huge sense of gratitude to every single wonderful human in my path throughout this journey.
As I write this I’m able to understand why. A belt color is not the goal. But yes, I am thankful for the new doors opening this season.
Now, why bother to share this?
Simply to be a reminder and hopefully awaken someone’s awareness (if it helps).
Whether a stripe or a new belt. You are exactly where you need to be. There’s no need to be or feel what others want you to be or feel. Feel what you feel. Step out of it. Reach your goal.
Thank you to all my professors for teaching me everything I know about this gentle art. Thank you for holding the space for understanding. Thank you for guiding and fueling this fire in me. ⚡️💥✨🌻🙏🏼🌟
